Unanswered Questions
by delilahbelle
Summary: The people who loved him called him Ani. But Obi-Wan never called him Ani. AO Friendship.


Obi-Wan never called him Ani.

At first, Anakin thought it was because Obi-Wan disliked him. There was a lot against him from the start. Qui-Gon had taken a heavy interest in the child, and he had become his focus, which in turn pushed Obi-Wan away from his master. And then there was the fact he couldn't sit still. When he'd arrived at the Jedi Temple after Qui-Gon's death and begun learning, he was amazed at what the Force could do. He, for the first time in his life, made friends. He was surprised to receive hot meals and clean clothes, things that had been luxuries as a slave. He had been too distracted and Obi-Wan had gotten very impatient with him.

As he grew up, he realised that Obi-Wan was impatient because his own training had been stunted—if it were not for Anakin's appearance, he would train for another year or so. He wasn't close, no matter what Qui-Gon had told the Council, and he wasn't ready to try to teach another. Especially with the residual feelings of resentment from Qui-Gon's choices. From a man he considered a father figure, the denial of his training had stung deep, Anakin knew.

Anakin had silently brooded on these facts for months on end, year after year. The deceased Jedi Master held a special space in his heart, but Anakin doubted that he made the right choice. Yes, he had a high midi-chlorian count, but that was all that was separating him from being lumped with the rest of the Padawans. There were many people out there that could train to be Jedis. And not every child with a high enough count was trained. Some parents refused to give up their child, and the Jedi never forced the issue.

He wondered if Obi-Wan resented him as well. It was hard not to, in Anakin's eyes, for he had ruined the carefully laid plans the Knight had wanted with his Master. If it hadn't been for him...

During these musings, Obi-Wan's voice would sound in his head. _If it hadn't been for you, we would never have gotten off Tattooine. We would never have arrived at Naboo and we certainly never would have saved them. By now, we'd all be dead._

He could never tell if his Master was speaking to him through the Force, having sensed his thoughts, or if he was just imagining what he wanted to hear, what Obi-Wan might say. Personally, he thought it was the latter, since Obi-Wan tried to stay out of his thoughts as much as possible. Their bond was strong, and sometimes stray thoughts would slip, but they never pried into each other's minds. It was one bit of privacy in their lives with each other. They shared everything else—living quarters and refreshers and ships and even rooms (Anakin sometimes had nightmares that he couldn't shake. He'd crawl into bed with Obi-Wan and although he'd pretend to be annoyed, he'd soothe the boy until he was asleep again).

Anakin wanted to ask if Obi-Wan harboured any ill will against him, but he was afraid of the answer. If he were a more patient Jedi, he would meditate and learn through the Force what the truth was, but he wasn't, so he didn't and the questions remained on the forefront of mind. Besides, he couldn't bear to hear the truth, because what if it was the answer he didn't want to hear?

He was thinking of those unanswered questions when they encountered some droids in the forests of Junjuii. He was thinking too much and not paying enough attention, an unwise thing to do in a war, and the blaster's shot hit him right in the chest, blackening his world.

Before he managed to open his eyes again, he sensed a figure looming over him. Blinking, he managed to squint into the sun, and the first sight he was greeted with was Obi-Wan's face, tight with worry that was slowly softening into relief.

"I thought I lost you there," his former master breathed out, a hint of tension remaining in his voice. Obi-Wan passed a hand over his face. "You scared me."

"You'd do fine without me," Anakin managed to get out, struggling to sit up. But the pain was too much, and he passed out again.

This time, when he came around, he was in a ship. And Obi-Wan was pacing the room, not standing over him. When Anakin struggled to sit up this time, the pain was not nearly as bad, but Obi-Wan gently pushed him down by his shoulder.

"Don't scare me like that again, Anakin." His voice was weak and strained with panic, relief, and fear. "How are you feeling now?"

"Sore."

"Rest."

But Anakin couldn't rest. The image of Obi-Wan's worried face was burned into his brain. He played it over and over and over his head, trying to make sure that he was reading the expression correctly.

All his life, he had considered the nickname Ani to be something special, something to be called by those who loved him. Like his wife or his mother. But maybe the nickname was just that—a nickname.

After all, he couldn't imagine Obi-Wan, with his regal bearing, saying something like Ani.

But he could imagine him being there forever.

He finally fell asleep.

* * *

Author's Note: Hi. I wrote another Star Wars one. Good (that I did) right? It's probably rushed and maybe silly, but it was the best I could do. I haven't seen the movies in forever, I've just been reading a ton of fics on this site for the last couple of days. On the plus side, my sister and I are planning to watch all the films before she goes off to college again.

I just wanted to note, since I was rereading it and thought it might be misconstrued, that the mention of Anakin climbing into bed with Obi-Wan is completely innocent. Like when you climb into bed with your parents or your siblings after a nightmare. Just in case someone wants to take those words out of context (like my Obi-Wan-Anakin slash obsessed friend).


End file.
